In case you somehow haven't heard, the nation was devastated -- devastated! -- last week by the news that Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is retiring from Jersey Shore.
Shore might have made Snooki famous, but it's equally true that -- perhaps more than anyone else -- Snooki made Jersey Shore.
Now, it's the end of an era, as Snooki has announced that she will no longer take part in the phenomenon she helped to create.
“I am not coming back to Jersey Shore [Family Vacation] for a season 4, if there is one,” she revealed on her podcast last Friday.
“There’s a lot of reasons why, but the main reason is really … I’m just like, I just can’t do it anymore.”
“You know, when I leave my kids and I film the show, like, I want to have a good time,” Snooki said at the time.
“And I’m putting myself out there, and I just wanna come off as a good person. And lately, on the show, it’s just been very drama.”
Now, Snooki is elaborating on those comments and admitting that despite apparent evidence to the contrary, the good times have been hard to come by in recent seasons, and she's simply not having fun anymore.
“I think when I was, like, actually forcing myself to be in a situation that I wasn’t happy in. Like, I was forcing myself to be ‘happy,’ and I’m like, ‘That’s not me.’ I’m not genuinely happy,”
“That’s when I’m like, ‘I’m out.’”
Snooks previously admitted that the demands of the show -- three consecutive days of filming, which usually means three consecutive nights of heavy drinking -- were taking much more of a toll at 32 than they did when she first gained fame in her early twenties.
“It was really hard, but I had to think about my happiness and where I really wanted myself to be, and it’s being a mom and being [with my] kids and not drama and drinking … and drama,” she explained.
As for how Polizzi intends to keep busy and pay the bills in her post-Shore life, those who know the reality icon best, say she's unconcerned.
“Snooki will be really busy just being a mom and seeing what comes next for her now that she’s done with Jersey Shore,” a source close to the mother of three tells Hollywood Life.
“She made a lot of money from doing the show and she’s not financially stressed,” our source clarifies. “She’s got a store [The Snooki Shop] that does well, her podcast [It’s Happening with Snooki & Joey] which is successful, and [Snooki] will be focusing on growing her brands and businesses.”
The insider goes on to say that Nicole is not stepping away from the spotlight, as she has several media projects in development.
Furthermore, she intends to remain close with her Shore family.
"She’s excited for what’s to come in 2020 and start the next chapter of her life without Jersey Shore. She will always call the cast not just friends, but family,” says the source.
“She wants to be taken as a serious business woman and will focus on her kids and her family and being home more often.”
Of course, Polizzi's retirement wasn't motivated entirely by her desire to pursue new projects and spend more time with her kids.
A pair of recent controversies have marred Snooki's reputation and they likely factored into her decision to take a temporary break from public life.
First, Snooki victim-shamed Jen Harley after she was beaten by Polizzi's fellow Shore star Ronnie Ortiz-Magro.
Shortly thereafter, Nicole, along with two of her castmates, made the unfortunate decision to bully Angelina Pivarnick at her own wedding.
The two incidents were separated by only a few weeks and contributed to the growing perception that success had transformed Snooki into a "mean girl."
Publicly, however, Nicole is sticking to her guns and claiming that she's walking away from the show simply because she's outgrown it:
“The main reason [I quit the show] is really….I just can’t do it anymore. Literally, leaving my kids to film it is really hard on me," she said on her podcast.
"I try and quit every single day. I just hate being away from the kids. I don’t like partying three days in a row. It’s just not my life anymore. I want to be home with the kid. It’s just really hard for me to leave the kids and film the show.”
We can't say we blame her -- a solid decade of partying on the Shore is probably sufficient.